The Saga of The Stove!

I lost my temper tonight. At a stove. An ordinary unassuming stove, like most others in many homes. You would not know , to look at it, that it is my Nemesis In The Kitchen. Now most of you kids know that cooking and baking, while at times my joy, is also one of the things guaranteed to give me a melt down ( pun intended) Burning something, or wrecking it in some other way ( and there are not enough blog posts to describe the ways I have wrecked various foods) is an affront to my womanhood. I choose to blame the stove or the pan or the poor unwary soul who happened to wander past the kitchen when smoke starts to billow forth. But deep down, I see it as a failing. Somehow , if a meal turns out well, I briefly feel fulfilled and successful..or at least relieved. So today when I went to make a simple ham steak , which I have made in the same manner a hundred times ( thus inspiring too much confidence perhaps?) and the thing turned into a charred black hunk within seconds, I was stunned, then furious at the stove and the universe. Bear in mind I've been sick for weeks ( feels like months) and I'm tired and feeling a bit bleary from this cold. Okay no excuse, really. I let loose at that piece of ham ( already dead pig meat) and the stove, as if all the ills of the universe were hinged on that piece of meat and its burned state. I let forth a diatribe, peppered with colorful descriptions, worthy of any trucker. James and Davey peeped cautiously in and bravely offered "help". They backed away slowly, trying not to make eye contact, as I let forth more insults and descriptive metaphors. At one point I heard James say to Davey in a somewhat awed hushed whisper " She's really angry" and Davey whisper back "Yes, I did notice that". ( I saved that in the part of my brain that hides my sense of humor, to bring out later and chuckle at) I needed to let out all that out and they were so patient. Though somewhat afraid.

Yes I overreacted. Yes I do that occasionally. I know, you're shocked to know I'm not perfect. And having ever used this stove , you'd probably agree with me that it is piece of um.. crap. I've cooked on worse. I've cooked on open fires. So this will not defeat me. I just miss my gas stove, even though the bottom of the oven was starting to rust through. I knew how it worked. I knew exactly where to turn each dial to make it do what I wanted. Mostly. This stove confounds me though. Especially the main burner. There is no " medium" . It is either hotter than the outer rings of hell, or too low to keep the pot even warm. If the stove was a human, I'd say it was against me from day one. Two elements would not work for weeks. Turned out they were not properly shoved into their receptacle. Yes I felt stupid. Then one had paint on it ( not from me) that kept smelling every time I turned on the burner. I traded it with a back element. That same day I melted a plastic bread tie on it. After scraping plastic off the burner and my pan ( took several attempts) and setting off the smoke detector ( smoke detector no longer works. I deny all knowledge of it's demise) The thing smelled like plastic for weeks. Then I set an oven mitt on fire. ( man that stunk. Good thing the smoke detector didn't work) A mere 24 hours later I melted something else. More stinkage, more scraping, wiping and still more stinkage. Then came the food burning. I kept forgetting the hotter than the outer rings of hell thing. I haven't set food on fire so much since my early days of my first marriage. The poor neighbors. I sure wasn't stimulating their appetites.

See I told you it was a saga. ( saga being a long rambling descriptive story, emphasis on long) So anyways I decided that I have to look at this differently. I've handled worse things that this silly stove. I will consider it both as a challenge to be conquered and a metaphor for life.

Life throws a lot of stuff at us that we can't fix or change. We just have to deal with it and try to figure out ways to make it better and/or change our attitude. We all have an ideal in our mind, of what we'd really like life to be like. ( my ideal kitchen has a hired chef) It's darned frustrating and nerve wracking when that ideal seems farther away than the Wall of China ( and we're just as likely to see it in person) I have long ago figured out that God doesn't care whether we burn supper or have a super clean house or whether we never feel frustrated. God doesn't care what kind of vehicle we drive ( or whether it is filled with McDonalds wrappers and empty pop bottles and matchbox cars) He doesn't care if we are rich or poor or " average". God is the ultimate parent. Are we learning from this? Are we growing? Are we becoming better people? Are we kind and loving in the worst circumstances? Those are things I think are most important to God and to the people we love. I don't believe God throws crappy stuff at us to make us learn. Life is what it is on this earth, a mix of good and bad and painful and joyful and everything in between. God set the earth to turning, now we are to do our best at living. Whether we see or not, we are created with a huge amount of potential. We can choose and grow and learn and love, and ask God for help along the way. I am pretty sure God is not going to plunk a new stove into the kitchen. But I'm asking Him to help me cope with this wretched thing . ( oops attitude check)

I guess I was pondering all this tonight, because I was thinking, everyone I love dearly in this life is going through " challenges" and changes and worries and stresses. I wish I could make it all better. I wish none of you ever had to cry or be filled with anxiety, that you never had to feel sad or scared or sore or hurting.I wish I could wave a magic fairy godmother wand and make all the bad stuff go away. You are all so special to me and I wonder if you all know how special a person each of you truly is? I get to see this because I love you, and God put you into my life and that is my biggest blessing!! I can handle a cantakerous stove , because I am blessed enough to be loved and to have truly precious people ( and adorable amazing little people) in my life.

So here I am going on all mushy, about a stove. Haha. Hmm yep still hate the darned thing. Maybe I need to do some more praying...

( Ps  with Davey's help and James encouragement , ham was somewhat repaired and prepared, and Kraft dinner ( made by Davey) added to the supper. We ate, we conquered, we then watched tv. )